Danelle Kimberley: Life

My Month in Photos

17:15:00

1. This is a beautiful building near me. It is up on a hill and I can see if from a while away when I am driving. I decided to go find it one day to take a photo, and this is what I got.

2. A view of Brisbane City from around the corner from my house. I often drive up to this place to take a photo, because I love how much the sky can change, and this is one of the places I see it happen the most.

3. Lavender is one of my absolute favourite flowers and my favourite smells. I took this of the lavender bush at the side of my house at dusk.

4. "The years between eighteen and twenty-eight are the hardest, psychologically. It's when you realise this is make or break, you no longer have the excuse of youth, and it is time to become an adult - but you are not ready." - Helen Mirren - This is one of my favourite quotes I have come across this month, and, to me, is very true.

5. This day was so unbearably hot at home, so I decided to go to my closest shopping centre to do some work. Gloria Jeans is one of my absolute favourite coffee shops, my local one treats me so well. Normally I get a Iced Coffee but decided to go with their newest flavour of Rocky Road, it was delicious!

6. Some yummy Chocolate Slice I made (recipe post here). One of my favourite recipes to make because it is so easy!

7. I love clouds. Enough said.

8. "Don't expect change to happen overnight, even if its not always visible, it's making more impact then you think." - Emma Watson #heforshe

9. As you can probably tell by now, I love baking. I find it so fun and relaxing, and I mean obviously it's a win, because I get some yummy food out of it. I bake banana bread A LOT, it is such a favourite in my family, and definitely my favourite. (Recipe post here).

10. The first time I've been to Southbank for about three years, and of course there was a massive down pouring of rain. I snapped this picture of the Wheel of Brisbane just before the storm.

11. Whilst at Southbank, I went to the cafe Denim Co. on Little Stanley St, and grabbed this amazing Tiramisu Cake and Iced Coffee (two of my favourite things), and they were both delicious. They also garnished our plates with lavender, which I still have in my room.

12. A beautiful picture of Italy. I love Italy, have loved Italy since I was about 8, and am so desperate to visit this beautiful city.

13. Oh look, I went to Gloria Jeans.. Shock! My Dad got back from a work trip early, so we went to our local Gloria Jeans to grab a coffee and bite to eat. I grabbed my favourite Signature Iced Coffee on Soy, and a cute little Easter Bunny Cookie, so yum. (Thanks Dad).

14. Clouds.

15. "Darling don't forget to fall in love with yourself first." - thearticsoul

16. This was my first time baking Hot Cross Buns. A recipe that I would have put up today, if I was happy with it, but unfortunately I wasn't. It didn't turn out as great as I was hoping, but I will keep trying until I nail it, and then I will post it up!

Danelle x

Life

A Child of Divorce

16:37:00

There are so many hard things that you go through when you’re parents decide to get a divorce. The hardest thing for me was that I lost a lot along the way, including myself. I was 13 when it happened, old enough to know what was happening, but still young enough for it to deeply affect me. I’ve always been one of those people that take everything to heart, and I don’t often say enough what I’m feeling and that I’m hurting. So things just keep building up, and building up, until I explode, which I did many times, and which also got me in trouble many times.

So many things can change during a divorce, firstly, obviously the relationship between your parents, they can be the kind of parents that get along even after they divorce, they can be the kind of parents that talk shit about each other behind their backs to their kids, or you could have one of each. I had one of each. Secondly, the relationship between the parents and the kids can change. You look at this person, who raised you, who once loved you, and not know who they are anymore, and because of that, your relationship with them has changed, forever. I also had that.

There’s one thing I’ve always quite liked about myself, and that is that I have very good instincts about people. I can read them well; I can see through their bullshit, and see what that person is really like. I had that at 13 years of age, but I was told that I was wrong, and that I was just angry from them divorce. For many years, I was told I was too young to have an opinion or that my opinion was wrong. That was one of the hardest things for me, because I wasn’t being listened to, and because of that, I went through a lot more shit than I would have, if someone had listened to my opinion in the first place.

I don’t ever blame anyone for that, because I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and that I was supposed to go through these things, so I could become a stronger person. But when you’re a teenager, you’re trying to figure out who you are, and when there is someone who is constantly putting you down, and making you feel like you are unwanted and unworthy, what else are you supposed to believe. Especially when it’s coming from someone who is meant to protect you from people who make you feel this way, from your bullies. But how can they protect you, when they’re the one who is bullying you.

Almost 10 years on, and lots of shit later, I have finally accepted the choice I made, to keep that person out of my life. The choice I wanted to make when I was 13. I understand why what I wanted when I was younger was not really ‘allowed’, because there were people looking out for me, that didn’t want me to make a mistake that could ruin a relationship, I get that. But when a person doesn’t change, when a person doesn’t believe they have done anything wrong, when a person never apologizes for the wrongs that they’ve done, then how can someone ‘like me’ who just wants to be happy, change their opinion on that person? Like they say, a leopard doesn’t change its spots, and this person certainly hasn’t.

I’ve always gotten so many questions, asking me how I could just let them go. Believe me, it was never easy, and there are days when I question if I’ve done the wrong thing, and I’m not going to lie, there are days that I miss them, and wonder if maybe they have changed. But I know I’ve done the right thing for me, maybe not for them, but I have for me. And I know that if after 10 years a person hasn’t changed, then why would they now? And honestly, I think I just miss the person I knew when I was a kid, not the person that showed who they really were when I was 13. Not the person who decided they didn’t want to be a parent anymore. Not the person who became my worst bully.

I have lost many things with losing this person. I’ve lost other family members; I’ve lost memories, photographs, and pets. But I’ve gained many things also. I’m not quite there yet, but for the first time since I was 12, I can see myself being genuinely happy again, I can see a future where I am happy, and confident, and myself. I know I have a long way to go, but at least I can see it now, I couldn’t before.

Like many things, not everyone is going to have the same experience as me, when they are a child of divorce. Some may be better, some may be worse. This is just my story of millions that are out there, I’m not telling it for sympathy, I don’t need or want that. It’s just something I felt the need to talk about as it could help someone who is going through the same thing. Because if you ask me, people don’t talk about they’re problems much anymore, and that’s how they can get worse. So I’m trying to encourage people to talk, get things off their chest. Don’t bottle it up, someone somewhere, understands and wants to help.

Danelle x

Don't ever be afraid to ask for help;

BeyondBlue:1300 22 4636

Kids Helpline:1800 55 1800

Lifeline: 13 11 14

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My Month in Photos

A Child of Divorce

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